Ephesians 5:17
"Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of
the Lord [is]."
“Be ye not unwise,
but understanding what the will of the Lord is”: Knowing and
understanding God’s will through His Word is spiritual wisdom.
For example, God’s
will revealed to us is that people should be saved (1 Tim. 2:3-4),
Spirit filled, (Eph. 5:18), sanctified (1 Thess. 4:3), submissive (1
Peter 2:13-15), suffering (1 Peter 2:20) and thankful (1 Thess.
5:18). Jesus is the supreme example for all (see John 4:4; 5:19, 30;
1 Peter 4:1-2).
“Wherefore”
looks back to the evil days of verse 16. Since the current age is so
perilous orally, Christians must clearly understand “what the will
of the Lord is.”
In the last lesson,
we saw some things that the Christian should not be caught up in.
Now, we see that to be involved with the sinners in the world, or to
be caught up in sin ourselves, is unwise. We are instructed here not
to be unwise. Not being unwise or foolish includes, among other
things, not becoming anxious or panicked.
The wise will seek
the will of God and do it. Many people I know say that they would do
the will of God, if they knew what the will of God for their life
was. My suggestion to them is to study the Word of God, for in the
Word of God, you will find the will of God.
The wise believer
knows that only in the Lord’s will and power can anything good and
lasting be accomplished. He won’t be foolish by running frantically
in every direction trying to see how many programs and projects he
can become involved in. Such activity easily becomes futile and leads
to burnout and discouragement, because it works in the power of the
flesh even when it is well intention-ed. Trying to run ahead of God
only puts us further behind in His work.
The unwise believer
who behaves in a foolish manner tries to function apart from God’s
will and is inevitably weak, frustrated and ineffective, both in his
personal life and in his work for God. The only cure for such
foolishness is to find and to follow the will of the Lord. When a
person is saved, sanctified, submissive, suffering and thankful, he
is already in God’s will.
“Delight yourself
In the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm
37:4), David tells us. In other words, when we are what God wants us
to be, He is in control and our will is merged with His will and He
therefore gives us the desires He has planted in our hearts.
Understanding the
Word of God comes from allowing the Holy Spirit of God to teach you
what the Bible is saying to you. Jesus spoke in parables, so that the
world would not understand. Those guided by the Spirit of God are the
ones who understand.
Ephesians 5:18
"And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled
with the Spirit;"
The verse which
these words introduce is one of the most crucial texts relating to
Christian living, to walking “in a manner worthy of the calling
with which we have been called” (4:1). Being controlled by the Holy
Spirit is absolutely essential for living the Christian life by God’s
standards. God’s way cannot be properly understood or faithfully
followed apart from the working of the Spirit in the life of a
believer.
“And be not drunk
with wine”: Although Scripture consistently condemns all
drunkenness, the context suggests that Paul is here speaking
especially about the drunken orgies commonly associated with many
pagan worship ceremonies of that day. Christians are not to seek
religious fulfillment through such pagan means as getting drunk with
wine, but are to find their spiritual fulfillment and enjoyment by
being “filled with the Spirit”.
The context of this
passage further indicates that Paul was speaking primarily about the
religious implications of drunkenness and not moral. The frenzied,
immoral and drunken orgies of pagan ceremonies that were an integral
part of temple worship. In the mystery religions which began in
ancient Babylon and were copied and modified throughout the Near East
and in Greek and Roman cultures, the height of religious experienced
was communion with the gods through various forms of ecstasy.
This is the type of
pagan worship with which the Ephesians were well acquainted and in
which some had once been involved and even many of the Corinthians
had a difficult time divorcing themselves from this type of worship.
The way of the flesh is characterized by the pagan religion that
centered around drunken, immoral orgies of supposed ecstasy, in which
a person tried to progressively elevate himself into communion with
the gods.
It was the way of
self, pride, immorality, greed, idolatry, confusion, deception,
fantasy, falsehood and even demonism. To achieve an ecstatic
experience the participants would use self hypnosis and frenzied
dances designed to work themselves up to a high emotional pitch.
Heavy drinking and sexual orgies contributed still further to the
sensual stupor that their perverted minds led them to think was
creating communion with the gods. It is the way of darkness and
foolishness.
Paul rebuked them
strongly saying “Is not the cup of blessing which we bless, a
sharing in the blood of Christ? Is not the bread which we break, a
sharing in the body of Christ? I say that the things which the
Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to demons, and not to God; and I
do not want you to become sharers in demons. “You cannot drink the
cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you cannot partake of the
table of the Lord and the table of demons” (1 Cor. 10:16, 20-21).
Drunkenness mocks a
person by making him think he is better off instead of worse off,
smarter instead of more foolish, and happier instead of simply dazed.
It is a favorite tool of Satan for the very reason that it deceives
while it destroys. Surely it presents vulnerability to demons. The
drunk does not learn his lesson and is deceived over and over again.
Even when he is waylaid, beaten and finally awakens from his drunken
stupor he “will seek another drink” (Proverbs 23:35).
Scripture shows
drunkenness in its full ugliness and tragedy, as always associated
with immorality, dissolution, unrestrained behavior, wild, reckless
behavior and every other form of corrupt living. It is one of the
sinful deeds of the flesh that are in opposition to the righteous
fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:19-23). Drunkenness is first of all a
sin. It develops attendant disease as it ravages the mind and body,
but it is basically a sin, a manifestation of depravity. It must
therefore be confessed and dealt with as sin.
A Christian not only
must avoid sin but must avoid the potential for sin. We should not
allow ourselves to get under the influence or control of anyone or
anything that leads us away from the things of God even to a small
extent. The safest and wisest choice for a Christian is to avoid even
the potential for wrong influence.
Even when something
is not habit forming for us, it may be for someone who is looking at
and following our example. Because alcohol is universally
acknowledged to be highly addictive, a Christian’s drinking
unnecessarily creates the potential for the alcohol addiction of
someone else.
“But be filled
with the Spirit”: True communion with God is not induced by
drunkenness, but by the Holy Spirit. Paul is not speaking of the Holy
Spirit’s indwelling (Rom. 8:9) or the baptism by Christ with the
Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 12:13), because every Christian is indwelt and
baptized by the Spirit at the time of salvation.
He is rather giving
a command for believers to live continually under the influence of
the Spirit by letting the Word control them, pursuing pure lives,
confessing all known sin, dying to self, surrendering to God’s
will, and depending on His power in all things.
Being filled with
the Spirit is living in the conscious presence of the Lord Jesus
Christ, letting His mind, through the Word, dominate everything that
is thought and done. Being filled with the Spirit is the same as
walking in the Spirit. Christ exemplified this way of life (Luke
4:1).
The words “be
filled” here mean “be continually filled,” emphasizing that the
fullness of the Spirit is a repeated experience for believers. When a
person is drunk with an alcoholic beverage, his walk, talk, and sight
are controlled by alcohol.
You lose control of
yourself when you get drunk. The only wine that any of us need is the
new wine {Holy Spirit}. When we are filled with the Spirit, we are
filled with the understanding that Spirit brings with it.
God desires that the
minds of Christians be controlled by the Holy Spirit so that they
will walk in the Spirit, speak on behalf of God, and understand the
things of God. Because people are indwelt by the Holy Spirit at
salvation, they do not need to get more of the Holy Spirit, but the
filling of the Spirit occurs when the Holy Spirit gets more of the
believer.
Every Christian
should be filled with the Spirit in order that he may have God’s
power to serve Him, Acts 1:8. As we establish our fellowship with God
through confession of sins (1 John 1:9) and yield to Him (Romans
6:13), we can be filled with the Spirit if that is our desire (Matt.
5:6) and prayer (Luke 11:13).
This verse gives an
example of what is and what is not the Lord’s will, verse 17.
Believers are not allowed to be intoxicated with alcoholic beverages;
the reason for this prohibition is “wherein is excess; that is,
drunkenness leads to moral intemperance. This is clearly contrary to
God’s will.
His will is that
Christians “be filled with” (by) “the Spirit;” that is, they
are to allow Him to fill them with God’s own life, character, and
virtues. The analogy between these two moral states is this: a person
filled with wine is under its influence; similarly, a Christian is
filled with the Spirit when He controls his thoughts, attitudes and
actions. In fact, it was the coming of the Holy Spirit that made real
all the promises of Jesus Christ.
Christians have just
claim to all Christ’s promises the moment we believe in Him, but we
cannot have their fulfillment until we allow His Spirit to fill us
and control us. Unless we know what it is to be directed by the Holy
Spirit, we will never know the bliss of the assurance of heaven, or
the joy of effective work for the Lord, of having our prayers
answered constantly or of indulging in the fullness of God’s own
love, joy and peace within us.
Submission to the
will of God, to Christ’s lordship and to the guiding of the Spirit
is an essential, not an optional, part of saving faith. A new
untaught believer will understand little of the full implications of
such obedience, but the spiritual orientation of his new nature in
Christ will bring the desire for submission to God’s Word and God’s
Spirit. A person who does not have that desire has no legitimate
claim on salvation.
Being filled with
the Spirit detaches us from the desires, the standards, the
objectives, the fear, and the very system of this world and gives us
a vision of God that comes in no other way. Being filled with the
Spirit makes everything else of secondary importance, and often of no
importance at all.
To be filled with
the Spirit involves confession of sin, surrender of will, intellect,
body, time, talent, possessions, and desires. It requires the death
of selfishness and the slaying of self-will. When we die to self, the
Lord fills us with His Spirit. The principle started by John the
Baptist applies to the Spirit as well as to Christ: “He must
increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30).
The person who is
Spirit controlled and who bears the Spirit’s fruit is the person
who belongs to Christ and who has “crucified the flesh with its
passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit,” Paul continued,
“let us also walk by the Spirit” (Gal. 5:24-25). To walk in the
Spirit is to fulfill the ultimate potential and capacity of our life
on earth as God’s children.
Verses 19-21: There
are four results of being Spirit filled, verse 18:
1.
Believers speak to one another with “psalms, and hymns, and
spiritual songs: that is, they exhort and instruct each other;
2.
There is “singing” and the “making” of “melody,”
of individual song and praise for the Lord;
3.
There is “giving thanks always” the Spirit enables the
Christian to be grateful “for all things” divinely allowed to
enter his life since they will be used for good; and
4.
There is mutual submission, that is, showing deference to the
wishes of one another, as long as that to which the believer submits
is in “the fear of God”, which is to say, in accord with what
pleases Him.
These verses
summarize the immediate personal consequences of obeying the command
to be filled with the Spirit, namely singing, giving thanks, and
humbly submitting to others. The rest of the epistle features
instruction based on obedience to this command.
Ephesians 5:19
"Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;"
Following His
command to be filled with the Spirit, Paul gave a summary of the
consequences of obedience to that command.
“Psalms”: Old
Testament psalms put to music, primarily, but the term was used also
of vocal music in general. The early church sang the Psalms. The
Psalms primarily speak about the nature and work of God, especially
in the lives of believers. Above everything else, they magnify and
glorify God.
“Hymns” refers
primarily to songs of praise, which in the early church were probably
distinguished from the psalms, which exalted God, in that they
specifically praised the Lord Jesus Christ. Many biblical scholars
believe that various New Testament passages (such as Col. 1:12-16)
were used as hymns in the early church.
“Spiritual songs”:
Probably songs of personal testimony expressing truths of the grace
of salvation in Christ and songs that covered a broad category that
included any music expressing spiritual truth. Because we have
salvation we sing songs of salvation. “Sing to the Lord a new song;
sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless His name;
proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day (Psalms
96:1-2; 149:1).
“Making melody”:
Literally means to pluck a stringed instrument, so it could refer
primarily to instrumental music, while including vocal also.
“In your heart to
the Lord”: Not just public, but private. The Lord Himself is both
the source and the object of the believer’s song filled heart. That
such music pleases God can be seen in the account of the temple
dedication, when the singing so honored the Lord that His glory came
down (2 Chron. 5:12, 14).
When a believer
walks in the Spirit, he has an inside joy that manifests itself in
music. God puts music in the souls and then on the lips of His
children who walk in obedience. A person who does not have a song in
his heart cannot sing from his heart or with his heart. He can only
sing with his lips, and neither his music nor his message will have
the power of the Spirit to bless others in Christ’s name.
I never cease to
amaze at the wonderful messages contained in the beautiful hymns the
writers brought for all of us to enjoy. When there is no one else
around to share them with, then singing lifts your soul. Many times
repeating the 23rd Psalm brings perfect peace to me.
All of the Psalms
are beautiful, but Psalms like the 91st Psalm bring hope. God loves
for us to sing just to Him. We should be a sweet, sweet sound in His
ear. Many of the spiritual songs are like prayers. Whatever we do,
sing, read Psalms, pray, or just praise God, shows the love we have
for Him.
To whom do believers
sing? Although believers sing among themselves, their songs are to be
directed to the Lord. Our singing and making melody is not for the
purpose of drawing attention to ourselves or of entertaining others
but of rejoicing in and praising God. Whether we sing a solo, singing
with a choir, or singing with the congregation, our focus should be
on the Lord, not on ourselves or other people. He is the audience to
whom we sing.
Music that honors
the Lord also blesses his people. A beautiful, soothing piece of
music can calm nerves, remove fear and anxiety, reduce bitterness and
anger, and help turn our attention from ourselves and the cares and
problems of the world to God.
Ephesians 5:20
"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in
the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;"
“Giving thanks
always for all things”: Believers’ thankfulness is for who God is
and for what He has done through His Son, their Savior and Lord.
A medieval legend
tells of two angels sent to earth by the Lord to gather the prayers
of the saints. One was to gather the petitions and the other the
thanksgivings. The angel responsible for petitions was not able to
carry them back to heaven in one load, while the angel responsible
for thanksgivings carried his back in one hand. The sad fact is that
God’s children are more prone to ask than to thank.
William Hendriksen
commented that “when a person prays without thanksgiving he has
clipped the wings of prayer so that it cannot rise.” When are we to
be thankful? Always! To be thankful always is to recognize God’s
control of our lives in every detail as He seeks to conform us to the
image of His Son. To be thankless is to disregard God’s control,
Christ’s lordship and the Holy Spirit’s filling. Nothing must
grieve the Holy Spirit so much as the believer who does not give
thanks.
There are three
attitudes of thankfulness. The first is easy and that is to thank God
for the things He has blessed us with which is right as the bible
instructs us to be thankful for the things we are given. The second
is that of being grateful for the hope of blessing and victory yet to
come. The first level is after the fact; the second is in
anticipation of the fact, which is more difficult than thanking Him
afterward. Thanking God before a blessing is more difficult than
thanking Him afterward and requires more faith and spiritual
maturity. This second level is where faith and hope begin because it
involves the unseen and the yet inexperienced.
The third level is
thanking God in the midst of the battle, while we are still
undergoing trouble or testing, and even when it looks like we are
failing or being overwhelmed.
If we can thank God
only when things are going well, our thankfulness is on the bottom
rung of faithfulness. If we can thank Him in anticipation of what He
will do in the future, we show more spiritual maturity. But to thank
God while we are in the midst of pain, trails, or persecution shows a
level of maturity that few Christians seem to know but that our
heavenly Father wants all His children to have.
Notice that even our
thanksgiving has to be done in the name of Jesus. This says that we
should thank God for all things good and bad. We must assume from
that, that sometimes the things we call bad are really a way to help
us grow in the Lord.
Romans 8:28 "And
we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to [his] purpose."
Notice, also, that
the thanks is to the Father.
The greatest gift we
can give to God is a thankful heart, because all we can give to Him
is simply grateful recognition that all we have is from Him. We give
Him thanks for all things because He has given us all things and
because giving thanks in everything “is God’s will … in Christ
Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18).
To glorify God is to
thank Him no matter how much we may hurt, disappointed or fail to
understand. The Spirit filled Christian is “overflowing through
many thanksgivings to God” and continually gives thanks to Him “for
His indescribable gift” (2 Cor. 9:12, 15). The only person who can
genuinely give thanks for all things is the humble person, the person
who knows he deserves nothing and who therefore gives thanks even for
the smallest things. Lack of thankfulness comes from pride.
If it were not for
Christ, it would be foolish to be thankful for everything, because
apart from Him all things do not turn out for good. But because we
are in Christ, the good things and the bad things all have a part in
God’s conforming us to the image of His Son.
Ephesians 5:21
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."
“Submitting
yourselves one to another”: Paul here made a transition and
introduced his teaching about specific relationships of authority and
submission among Christians (5:22 – 6:9) by declaring unequivocally
that every spirit filled Christian is to be a humble, submissive
Christian. Submission is a general spiritual attitude that is to be
true of every believer in all relationships.
Unfortunately, many
people who know Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord do not maintain their
living according to His moral, marital and family laws. Because they
are not at all times filled with His spirit and fall to the level of
the society around them, they are not sufficiently motivated or
empowered to be obedient to their Lord in all things.
They possess the
Holy Spirit, but the Holy Spirit does not possess them. Consequently,
many Christian couples argue and fight worse than many unbelievers.
Many families in false religions for example, and even some
nonreligious families, are more disciplined and harmonious on the
surface than some Christian families. A carnal believer will have
discord in his family just as he has discord in his own heart and in
his relationship to God.
This is foundational
to all the relationships in this section. No believer is inherently
superior to any other believer. In their standing before God, they
are equal in every way (Gal. 3:28).
James said, “What
is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source
your pleasures that wage war in your members?” (James 4:1).
Conflicts in the church, in the home, and in marriage always result
from hearts that are directed by the self rather than by the Spirit
of God. When self insists on its own rights, opinions and goals,
harmony and peace are precluded.
The self centered
life is always in a battle for the top and pushes others down as it
climbs up in pride. The Spirit centered life, on the other hand, is
directed toward lowliness, toward subservience, and it lifts others
up as it descends in humility. The Spirit filled believer does not
merely look out for his own personal interests but, also for the
interest of others (Phil. 2:4).
“In fear of God”:
The believer’s continual reverence for God is the basis for his
submission to other believers (Prov. 9:10).
This just means to
have respect for the other people’s rights. Don't feel that you
must always be right. Be humble toward those fellow servants of God.
Christ humbled Himself and washed the feet of the disciples. He,
also, said that the greatest among them should serve the others.
Verses 5:22-33: The
theme of submission mentioned in verse 21 is now taken up and
developed in detail from the church in general to the Christian
household in particular accordingly, submission authority is treated
in three domestic relations: that of:
1.
Wives and husbands, verses 22-33,
2.
Children and parents (6:1-4) and
3.
Servants and masters (6:5-9).
Ephesians 5:22
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the
Lord."
“Wives, submit
yourselves unto your own husbands”: Having established the
foundational principle of submission, verse 21, Paul applied it first
to the wife.
Wives is not
qualified and therefore applies to every Christian wife, regardless
of her social standing, education, intelligence, spiritual maturity
or giftedness, age, experience, or any other consideration. Nor is it
qualified by her husband’s intelligence, character, attitude,
spiritual condition, or any other consideration. Paul says
categorically to all believing wives: submit onto your own husbands.
The wife is not
commanded to obey her husband, as children are to obey their parents
and slaves their masters (6:1, 5). A husband is not to treat his wife
as a servant or as a child, but as an equal for whom God has given
him care and responsibility for provision and protection, to be
exercised in love.
She is not his to
order about, responding to his every wish and command. As Paul;
proceeds to explain in considerable detail (verses 25-33), the
husband’s primary responsibility as head of the household is to
love, provide, protect and serve his wife and family, not to lord it
over them according to his personal whims and desires.
The command is
unqualified, applying to every Christian wife, no matter what her own
abilities, education, knowledge of Scripture, spiritual maturity, or
any other qualifications might be in relation to those of her
husband.
The submission is
not the husband’s to command but for the wife to willingly and
lovingly offer. “Your own husbands” limits her submission to the
one man God has placed over her, and also gives a balancing emphasis
that he is hers as a personal intimate possession (Song of Solomon
2:16; 6:3; 7:10). She submits to the man she possesses as her own.
“Your own
husbands” suggests the intimacy and mutuality of the wife’s
submission. She willingly makes herself subject to the one she
possesses as her own husband. Husbands and wives are to have a mutual
possessiveness as well as a mutual submissiveness. They belong to
each other in an absolute equality. The husband no more possesses his
wife than she possesses him.
“As unto the
Lord”: Because the obedient, spiritual wife’s supreme submission
is to the Lord, her attitude is that she lovingly submits as an act
of obedience to the Lord, who has given this command as His will for
her, regardless of her husbands personal worthiness or spiritual
condition (verses 5-9).
“As unto the
Lord:” This is a comparative clause. But in Greek there are two
different types of comparative clauses.
1.
Elucidation, which means that wives are to give
their husbands the same unquestioned, absolute submission they give
Christ. Would this apostle expect wives to render the same submission
to imperfect husbands they give to their perfect Lord, when other
apostles recognized the periodic need for believers to obey God
rather that man (Acts 5:29), if the wills of human and divine
authorities clash? It is better, then, to take this comparative
clause as that of:
2.
Emphasis, which means that wives are to submit
to their husbands as submission rendered by them truly is submission
rendered to Christ Himself. When the wife yields her will to that of
her husband, she yields to the Lord – provided the husband’s
directions are “in the fear of God”, verse 21, that is, those
conforming to God’s will.
People are wives and
husbands in the flesh. In the family realm, there can be only one
head of the house, and that is the husband. This is just saying to
women who have chosen to be a wife, bow to the wishes of your husband
in the family realm.
With the fall
and its curse came the distortion of woman’s proper submissiveness
and of man’s proper authority. That is where the battle of the
sexes began, where women’s liberation and male chauvinism came into
existence. Women have a sinful inclination to usurp man’s authority
and men have a sinful inclination to put women under their feet.
The divine decree
that man would rule over woman in this way was part of God’s curse
on humanity, and it takes a manifestation of grace in Christ by the
filling of the Holy Spirit to restore the created order and harmony
of proper submission in a relationship that has become corrupted and
disordered by sin.
Both before and
after the Fall and the consequent curse, man was called to be the
provider, protector, guide and shepherd of the family, and woman
called to be supportive and submissive.
The only time it is
alright to go against your husband, is if he turns against God. Then
you would have to choose God over your husband. The family on earth
is really an example of the family in heaven. God, the Father, is
supreme ruler.
Wives are to submit
even when their husbands “are disobedient to the word, so that they
may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they
observe your chaste and respectful behavior” (verses 1b-2).
Instead of nagging,
criticizing and preaching to her husband, a wife should simply set a
godly example before him, showing him the power and beauty of the
gospel through its effect in her own life. Humility, love, moral
purity, kindness, and respect are the most powerful means a woman has
for winning her husband to the Lord.
The manner or
attitude of submission is to be as to the Lord. Everything we do in
obedience to the Lord should also be done first of all for His glory
and to please Him. Those to whom we submit, whether in mutual
submission or in response to their functional authority, will often
not inspire respect.
Sometimes they will
be thoughtless, inconsiderate, abusive, and ungrateful. But the
Spirit filled believer, in this instance the wife, submits anyway;
because that is the Lord’s will and her submission is to Him. A
wife who properly submits to her husband also submits to the Lord.
And a wife who does not submit to her husband also does not submit to
the Lord
Ephesians 5:23
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
“Husband is the
head … Christ is the head”: The Spirit filled wife recognizes
that her husband’s role in giving leadership is not only God
ordained, but is a reflection of Christ’s own loving, authoritative
headship of the church.
“Savior”: As the
Lord delivered His church from the dangers of sin, death and hell, so
the husband provides for, protects, preserves, and loves his wife,
leading her to blessing as she submits (Titus 1:4; 2:13; 3:6).
“For” gives the
reason why verse 22 calls for wifely submission. Just as Jesus is the
divinely appointed “head” or authority over His church, in the
same way the husband is the divinely appointed “head” or
authority of his wife. The head gives direction and the body
responds. A physical body that does not respond to the direction of
the head is crippled, paralyzed, or spastic.
Likewise a wife who
does not properly respond to the direction of her husband manifests a
serious spiritual dysfunction. On the other hand, a wife who
willingly and lovingly responds to her husband’s leadership as to
the Lord is an honor to her Lord, her husband, her family, her
church, and herself. She is also a beautiful testimony to the lord
before in view of the world around her.
“And he is the
savior” (or, protector of the body): As Jesus is responsible to
provide for the welfare of His church, so the husband is responsible
to protect his wife. “In both cases the responsibility to protect
is inseparably linked with the responsibility to provide spiritual
leadership.
There is a critical
statement, here, that we must not overlook. The husband is the savior
of her body, not her spirit. Christ is the head of the entire church,
including the woman. The difference is the church has to do with the
spirit, and not with the flesh. Jesus Christ quickened our spirit,
not our flesh.
The supreme and
ultimate model of submission is Jesus Christ Himself, who performed
the supreme act of submission by giving His own sinless life to save
a sinful world. Christ is the Savior of the body, His church, for
whom He died on the cross. He is the perfect Provider, Protector and
Head of His church, which is His body.
Ephesians 5:24
"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the
wives [be] to their own husbands in everything."
The extent of the
wife’s submission to her husband is “in everything,” that is,
in every area of life and in every issue that may arise – those
which the wife may agree with, and those which she may not. Again,
“in everything” is limited only to those directives of the
husband that are “in the fear of God”, verse 21, that is, those
conforming to God’s will.
This is showing the
church {men and women} are first subject to Christ. It, also, shows
that in the realm of the flesh, in the home, the wife is subject to
the husband.
Jesus Christ is the
divine role model for husbands, who should provide for, protect,
preserve, love and lead their wives and families as Christ cares for
His church. Wives are no more to be co-providers, co-protectors, or
co-leaders with their husbands than the church is to have such joint
rolls with Jesus Christ. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so
also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:25
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it;"
Man was created
first and was given headship over the woman and over creation. But
their original relationship was so pure and perfect that his headship
over her was a manifestation of his consuming love for her and her
submission to him was a manifestation of her consuming love for him.
No selfishness or
self will marred their relationship. Each lived for the other in
perfect fulfillment of their created purpose and under God’s
perfect provision and care. The Fall itself involved a perversion of
marital roles and God’s curse because of the Fall also affected
marriage.
Eve sinned not only
in disobeying God’s specific command but in acting independently of
her husband and failing to consult Adam about the serpent’s
temptation. Adam sinned not only by disobeying God’s command but by
succumbing to Eve’s leadership, thus failing to exercise his God
given authority. Because of her disobedience, God cussed the woman to
pain in childbirth and to a perverted desire to rule over man.
The man was cursed
to toil, to difficulty, to frustration in wresting sustenance from
the land, and to conflict with his wife over her submission. Both
were cursed with death as the penalty for their sin (Gen. 3:16-19;
Rom. 5:15-19). Marriage was corrupted because both the man and the
woman twisted God’s plan for their relationship. They reversed
their roles, and marriage has been a struggle ever since.
The command,
husbands, love your wives, continues Paul’s explanation of the
mutual submission mentioned in verse 21. The husband’s primary
submission to his wife is through his love for her, and the apostle
makes clear that this is a boundless kind of love. Christ loved the
church before He brought the church into existence. He chose and
loved His own even “before the foundation of the world” (1:4),
because God’s love is eternally present, having no past and no
future.
“Love your wives”:
Though the husband’s authority has been established, verses 22-24,
the emphasis moves to the supreme responsibility of husbands in
regard to their wives, which is to love them with the same
unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Christ has for His
church.
Christ gave
everything He had including His own life, for the sake of His church,
and that is the standard of sacrifice for a husband’s love of his
wife (Col. 3:19).
God provides for
husbands to love their wives with a measure of Christ’s own kind of
love. The husband who submits to the Lord by being filled with His
Spirit (verse 18) is able to love his wife with the same kind of love
Jesus has for His own bride, the church. The Lord’s pattern of love
for His church is the husband’s pattern of love for his wife.
The world’s love
is always object oriented. A person is loved because of physical
attractiveness, personality, wit, prestige, or some other such
positive characteristic. In other words, the world loves those whom
it deems worthy of love. And such love is necessarily fickle.
As soon as a person
loses a positive characteristic, or that characteristic is no longer
appealing, the love based on the characteristic also disappears. It
is because so many husbands and wives have only that kind of fickle
love for each other that their marriages fall apart. As soon as a
partner loses his or her appeal, love is gone, because the basis for
the love is gone.
God can command His
own kind of love from those who belong to Him because He has given
them the capacity to love as He loves (Romans 5:5; 1 Thess. 4:9) and
because His commanded love must, therefore, be a matter of choice
(James 2:8; 1 John 3:7, 16-18, 23; 4:7, 11). It is an act of the will
as well as of the heart.
And it seems to be a
principle that whatever we choose to love and practice loving soon
becomes attractive to us. But a Christian’s loving with Christ’s
kind of love is not based on the attractiveness of the one loved but
on God’s command to love. Loving as Christ loves does not depend in
the least on what others are in themselves, but entirely on what we
are in Christ.
A husband is not
commanded to love his wife because of what she is or is not. He is
commanded to love her because it is God’s will for him to love her.
It is certainly intended for a husband to admire and be attracted by
his wife’s beauty, winsomeness, kindness, gentleness, or any other
positive quality or virtue. But though such things bring great
blessing and enjoyment, they are not the bond of marriage.
If every appealing
characteristic and every virtue of his wife disappears, a husband is
still under just as great an obligation to love her. If anything, he
is under greater obligation, because her need for the healing and
restorative power of his selfless love is greater. That is the kind
of love every Christian husband is to have for his wife.
The Greek word
rendered “love” is agapao, which denotes the willing sacrificial
giving on the husband’s part for the benefit of his wife, without
thought of return. As Christ “gave himself” for the church, so
there is to be no sacrifice, not even the laying down of his life
that a husband should not be willing to make for his wife.
The husband who
loves his wife as Christ loves His church gives everything he has for
his wife, including his life if necessary. If a loving husband is
willing to sacrifice his life for his wife, he is certainly willing
to make lesser sacrifices for her. He puts his own likes, desires,
opinions, preferences, and welfare aside if that is required to
please her and to meet her needs. He dies to self in order to live
for his wife, because that is what Christ’s kind of love demands.
That is his submission.
The love of Christ
was the agape love. This type of love is not because of what it can
get in return, but is unselfish love which loves even the unlovable.
Verses 26-27:
Sanctify … cleanse … holy … without blemish”: This speaks of
the love of Christ for His church. Saving grace makes believers holy
by the agency of the Word of God (Titus 2:1-9; 3:5) so that they may
be a pure bride. For husbands to love their wives as Christ does His
church, demands a purifying love.
Since divine love
seeks to completely cleanse those who are loved from every form of
sin and evil, a Christian husband should not be able to bear the
thought of anything sinful in the life of his wife that displeases
God. His greatest desire for her should be that she becomes perfectly
conformed to Christ, so he leads her to purity.
Ephesians 5:26
"That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word,"
For husbands to love
their wives as Christ loves His church is to love them with a
purifying love. Divine love does not simply condemn wrong in those
loved but seeks to cleanse them from it. Christ’s great love for
His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin, and moral
or spiritual impurity in it.
As we continue to
confess our sins, Christ “is faithful and righteous to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
The word is the agent of this sanctification (Titus 3:5), the
objective of which is a blamelessness and holiness that makes us fit
to be presented to Christ as His own beloved and eternal bride, to
dwell in His glorious presence forever (Rev. 21:1).
Love wants only the
best for the one it loves, and it cannot bear for a loved one to be
corrupted or misled by anything evil or harmful. When a husband’s
love for his wife is like Christ’s love for His church, he will
continually seek to help purify her from any sort of defilement. He
will seek to protect her from the world’s contamination and protect
her holiness, virtue, and purity in every way. He will never induce
her to do that which is wrong or unwise or expose her to that which
is less than good.
When a young man
says he loves a young woman, but wants her to compromise her sexual
purity before they are married, his love is the world’s lust, not
God’s love; and it is selfish, not serving. That sort of love
defiles’ rather than purifies.
This verse may be
paraphrased: “That He might perfectly sanctify the church, having
cleansed her by the gospel accompanied with the washing of water.”
When will He
“perfectly sanctify” the church? When He returns for her in
glory.
When was the church
“cleansed”? At conversion. How was her conversion effected? “By
the gospel” (word).
And what ritual is
to be associated with one’s conversion? “The washing of water,”
that is, water baptism, which is the outward symbol of an inward
change.
This is speaking of
Christ and the church. "Sanctify" means made holy. The
washing of water by the Word. The Word of God does cleanse the
person.
Ephesians 5:27
"That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not
having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be
holy and without blemish."
In an immeasurably
greater way Christ gave Himself up for the church. His cleansing of
believers is not ceremonial and symbolic, but real and complete.
The soteriological
truth in this analogy is that saving grace makes believers holy
through the cleansing agency of the Word of God, so that they may be
presented to Christ as His pure Bride, forever to dwell in His love.
It is with that same purpose and in the same love that husbands are
to cultivate the purity, righteousness and sanctity of their wives.
The ultimate purpose
of Jesus’ love for the church is to present her to Himself as a
chaste bride. As a man wants a sexually untainted virgin as bride, so
Jesus wants His church to be without moral flaw.
The only way for the
church to be without spot or wrinkle is for it to be grounded in the
Word of God. The study of the Word of God is what makes the church
ready. Jesus paid the price in full for the church.
He made the church
acceptable with His precious shed blood. He {Jesus} is, also, the One
it is presented to.
Another Scripture
calls the church a chaste virgin. It just means that the church had
been faithful to the Lord. The church had not followed after false
gods.
Ephesians 5:28
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself."
“As their own
bodies”: Here is one of the most poignant and compelling
descriptions of the oneness that should characterize Christian
marriage. A Christian husband is to care for his wife with the same
devotion that he naturally manifests as he cares for himself, v.29,
even more so, since his self sacrificing love causes him to put her
first (Phil. 2:1-4).
“Love their wives
as their own bodies”: In the end, a husband who loves his wife in
these ways brings great blessing to himself from her and from the
Lord.
Because as
Christians, our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, we should be
taking proper care of them, giving them the right food, maintaining
reasonable strength, getting enough rest and so on. When our body is
healthy we have a sense of well being; and when a husband meets the
needs of his wife, with the same care and concern with which he meets
the needs of his own body, he will also have a sense of well being
and pleasure as a by product of his love.
This verse develops
the idea, introduced in verse 27, that sacrificial love benefits the
giver as well as the receiver.
The church certainly
profits from Christ’s love, verse 26, in that she is granted
salvation, but Jesus also benefits from His love in obtaining her as
a pure bride, verse 27.
Similarly, the
husband who “loveth his wife loveth himself,” that is he profits
from this love as does his wife.
Notice, again here,
this has to do with the body of flesh. When they are married, they
become one flesh. That is what this Scripture is saying; when it says
he loves himself.
With God there is no
male or female, because He looks on the spirit. In heaven there will
be no marrying and taking in marriage. All believers in Christ {male
and female} will be the bride of Christ. These very same people will
all be sons of God.
You see gender is
just for this earth in the flesh, and has nothing whatsoever to do
with the spirit.
Verses 29-31: The
assertion of verse 28b that the husband who loves his wife loves
himself is substantiated by Paul’s reasoning in the verses:
As the church is a
part of Jesus’ body, verse 30, so is the wife a part of her
husband’s body, verse 31. Thus, when the husband loves her, he
loves himself. As a man who cares for his body benefits himself,
verse 29, so the husband who loves his wife brings much profit to
himself.
Ephesians 5:29
"For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and
cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"
The husband who
loves his wife as Christ loves the church will no more do anything to
harm her than he would to harm his own flesh. His desire is to
nourish and cherish her just as he nourishes and cherishes his own
body, because that is how Christ also does the Church.
When she needs
strength, he gives her strength. When she needs encouragement, he
gives her that. And so with every other thing she needs. Just as God
supplies “all our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ
Jesus” (Phil. 4:19), the loving husband seeks to supply all the
needs of his wife.
The blessed marriage
is the marriage in which the husband loves his wife with unlimited
caring. Something is basically wrong if she is looked at only as a
cook, housekeeper, occasional companion, and sex partner. She is a
God given treasure to be loved, cared for, nourished and cherished.
“Nourisheth …
cherisheth”: These express the twin responsibilities of providing
for her needs so as to help her grow mature in Christ and to provide
warm and tender affection to give her comfort and security.
To nourish a wife is
to provide for her needs, to give that which helps her grow and
mature in favor with God and man. To cherish her is to use tender
love and physical affection to give her warmth, comfort, protection,
and security. Those responsibilities are primarily the husband’s,
not the wife’s. As Christ provides for His church, so the husband
provides for his wife and family.
To hate your wife,
would be as if you hated your own flesh. They {husband and wife} are
one in the flesh. A man would not hit himself, but that is really
what he is doing if he hits his wife. The Lord loves the church as
His bride.
Ephesians 5:30
"For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his
bones."
Christ provides for
us as His church because we are members of His body. Not to provide
for His church would be not to provide for Himself. He shares common
life with His church, and we are members of His body, His flesh and
bones, His present incarnation on earth.
Paul said, “The
one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him” (1 Cor.
6:17).
“Members of his
body”: The Lord provides for His church because it is so intimately
and inseparably connected to Him.
If He did not care
for His church, He would be diminishing His own glory which the
church brings to Him by praise and obedience. So, in marriage, the
husband’s life is so intimately joined to the wife’s that they
are one. When he cares for her, he cares for himself, verse 29.
This is a spiritual
statement of the church being the body of Christ. Many of the
manuscripts do not include the last seven words of this Scripture.
The Lord Jesus Christ took on the form of flesh upon the earth.
God is Spirit. Flesh
and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:31
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and
shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
This is quoted from
Genesis 2:24. Paul reinforces the divine plan for marriage which God
instituted at creation, emphasizing its permanence and unity. The
union of marriage is intimate and unbreakable. “Joined” is a word
used to express having been glued or cemented together, emphasizing
the permanence of the union. God’s standard for marriage did not
change from the time of Adam until the time of Paul, and it has not
changed to this day.
“Leave his father
and mother”: A husband and wife have a better chance for a
successful marriage if there is some independence – physically,
emotionally and financially, from parents and in-laws. One of the
greatest barriers to successful marriage is the failure of one or
both partners to leave father and mother. Parents are always to be
loved and cared for, but they are no longer to control the lives of
their children once they are married.
This, again, is
speaking of the arrangement of husband and wife in the flesh upon the
earth. God made male and female to procreate life with Him upon the
earth. Male and female genders are for this earth.
This Scripture is
speaking of a husband and wife living together as one family and
making their own family. Not only are they one flesh, but between
them, when they have a child, they two are the child that they
produce.
“I hate divorce
says the Lord, the God of Israel” (Mal 2:16). God has always hated
divorce and He will continue to hate it, because it destroys that
which He has ordained to be unbreakable. He hates divorce on any
terms and for any reason. He will tolerate it in certain instances,
and will forgive it, as He will forgive any other sin; but He will
never change His hatred for it, just as He will never change His
hatred for any other sin.
Marriage is to be
lasting as far as the earthly lives of the husband and wife is
concerned. Though He has made provision for divorce in the cases of
unrepentant and continued adultery (Mat. 5:31-32; 19:4-10) and the
departure of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor. 5:17), death is God’s
only desired dissolution for marriage.
God has always loved
His people, the way Jesus Christ has always loved His church, and the
way Christian husbands are always to love their wives. The Lord never
puts us away. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous
to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”
(1 John 1:9).
Peter admonished,
“You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding
way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her
honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may
not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Here we see three commands:
1.
First, a husband is to be considerate of his wife. To treat
your wife in an understanding way is to treat her with sensitivity
and consideration. Many times we hear wives saying that their
husbands do not understand them or are not sensitive to their
feelings or needs or do not communicate with them. Just because a
husband may have many pressures and worries of his own is no excuse
for his being insensitive to his wife, whom God commands him to love
and care for as Christ loves and cares for the church.
2.
Second, peter teaches that a husband is to be chivalrous to
his wife as “a weaker vessel.” True chivalry is not simply a
formality of polite society; it reflects the attitude men should have
toward all women, particularly their own wives. A husband’s
courtesy toward his wife not only pleases her but also God.
3.
Third, Peter tells husbands to honor their wives “as a
fellow heir of the grace of life.” Husbands and wives should be the
best of friends, not only in family matters and daily activities, but
in spiritual things as well. A husband who is not considerate of his
wife and who does not honor and respect her is defective in his
spiritual life, and his prayers will “be hindered.”
The husband who
gives his wife consideration, courtesy, and honor contributes to the
beauty and strength of his marriage and gives an invaluable example
and legacy to his children.
Ephesians 5:32
"This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the
church."
“Great mystery”:
In the New Testament, “mystery” identifies some reality hidden in
the past and revealed in the New Testament age to be written in
Scripture. Marriage is a sacred reflection of the magnificent and
beautiful mystery of union between the Messiah and His church,
completely unknown until the New Testament.
As Paul pointed out
in verses 23-29, marriage is a picture of the church and its
relationship to Christ. This mystery, this magnificent picture that
men could never discover and that was unknown to the saints of the
Old Covenant but is now revealed, is great. God’s new people, the
church, are brought into His kingdom and His family through faith in
Christ. He is the Bridegroom and they are His bride (Rev. 21:9).
A husband’s
greatest motive for loving, purifying, protecting and caring for his
wife is Christ’s love, purifying, protecting, and caring for His
own bride, the church. Christian marriage is to be loving, holy,
pure, self sacrificing and mutually submissive because those virtues
characterize the relationship of Christ and the church.
“Bride of Christ”:
The relationship of Christ to His church is illustrated by that of a
husband to his wife. Christ is called the Bridegroom, and His church
is called the bride. Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it,
that He might sanctify, cleanse and glorify it.
As wives should be
submissive to and reverence their husbands so Christians should
submit to and worship Christ our savior (Eph. 5:32; 1 Cor. 12:27).
All of this was to
show the relationship of Christ and His church. The relation of man
and wife upon this earth shows a little shadow of the relation
between Christ and His church. There is order in heaven, as there is
order upon earth.
The wife was made
for the man as the church was made for the Lord Jesus. It is very
difficult to separate Christ and His church, and it should be equally
hard to separate a man and His wife. They should be as one.
Ephesians 5:33
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his
wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her]
husband."
The use of
“nevertheless” is intended to end the discussion and emphasize
what in it is most essential to remember.
“Let every one of
you”: The intimacy and sacredness of the love relationship between
believing marriage partners is to be a visual expression of the love
between Christ and His church.
"Reverence",
in the above verse, means to have great respect for. Women should be
a compliment to their husband, not an embarrassment. Women are
subordinate to their husbands in the flesh, as the church is to
Christ in the Spirit.
When Christian
husbands and wives walk in the power of the Spirit, yield to His Word
and His control, and are mutually submissive, they are brought much
happiness, their children are brought much blessing, and God is
brought much honor.
Again, we must take
note that Paul was the only penman who dealt with the husband wife
relationship.
